Loving Others

Loving others...well, this seems simple enough right? I have heard many say that Christianity is nothing more than "loving God and loving people." I have thought a great deal about this statement, and although have had my qualms with it in the past...I am starting to believe it true.

The problem lays with the "nothing more" part of the statement. Nothing more? Really? Ministry, Christianity, the church, it's people, if it were to work through this statement, would indeed find solutions to many of it's problems. In 1 John 4:16 it says "God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him." So why is this so hard?

1 John 4:17-21 continues with saying...

"In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother."

At a Christian University you would think this would be understood...you would think it to be the banner held high in the ministry department...instead when "loving God and loving others" is mentioned one can look around only to see eyes rolling, hear exasperated sighs and slight chuckling. Why? Why has this become an icon of scorn? Is it because it is overdone or misunderstood?

A student can gain all the wisdom of the world...all the facts...all the philosophies...all the theories of theology and ministry, but without this passion...without love it is, as our Ecclesiastical friend would say, "vanity."

A professor of mine said that we, as students, have become institutionalized. We never want to leave this place. Of course we all say how badly we want out, but really deep down many of us fear what is to come. We would prefer discussing deep ideas and "dreams" brooding over coffee, then getting out there and "doing" ministry and loving people.

The passion has become distinguished...how do we fight it?

1. Presence with God - I believe that prayer is breathing with God. It is timing our breaths with His, our thoughts with His, meeting Him where He is ...not the other way around. It is alining our hearts to His and if God is love, than how can we not have that love if we are "breathing" with Him?

2. Presence with people - When you are being with people, really being with people, in their hurts, in their pain, crying with them, laughing with them ...being with them...sharing life with them you cannot help, but to love them. I'm not talking about coffee meetings, class time, or movies on a Friday night... I'm talking about the real issues in life. I'm talking about being a shoulder to cry on, affirming truths in their life, lending a hand...sharing your life with them.

3. Presence with the church - The church is by no means perfect, but it is real. It is up to you what the church looks like. It can be a place where everyone wears a mask, it can be a place where people come and hide ...or... it can be a place of true community, true family, a picture of love.

4. Presence with the here and now - "My" generation seems to have the tendency of either looking of what has been or what could be. We look at how it was in high school or maybe even college as the "golden years," losing sight of the present time. Another common error, that I easily fall into, is that of looking only at what is to come. By living in the past, or even the future, we fail to see the here and now, and in that we fail to love those in the here and now...

From Young Adults, for Young Adults: Reasons for Lack of Church Attendance

So, quite a few pastors/professors have been asking me lately why it is that young adults do not go to church. It really is a perplexing issue, isn't it? Sometimes it seems like my generation is the rebellious black sheep of the church; the more the church tries to bring them back in, the further they want to get from it.

 As a representative of this generation, I would like to propose a few reasons why this is happening, and then also a few things that can be done to mend the divide. In this post, we'll take a good look at the reasons, then we'll look at some potential solutions next time. 

REASONS:

1. "Christianity is not a religion -- it's a relationship" -- We have all heard this in one form or another, and there is certainly some truth in it. But personally, I think that this statement is doing more harm than good among young adults. What this is basically saying is that Christianity is all about your own personal, individual relationship with Jesus and the church is basically just a "spiritual booster shot" that you get every Sunday. So if it doesn't do anything for you, then you shouldn't have to go. The real issue here is that because of statements like this, my generation does not understand the significance of the church. This is probably the most common reason that many of my friends do not attend church. 

2. The awkward gap -- Most young adults between 18-23 are still treated like they are older teenagers, but not adults. We are too old to be teens, but too young to be accepted by the elders in the congregation. As a result, we are stuck in an "awkward gap" -- we feel unwanted and unappreciated. It is hard for anyone to be part of a church if there isn't a place for them. 

3. Youth ministry||Church -- In most churches there seems to be a great chasm between the youth ministry and the rest of the church. The youth ministry will draw a large number of teens, many of them unsaved and/or unchurched, but they never get plugged in to the rest of the church. As a result, when they graduate high school, they continue to not attend church, but now they do not have Wednesday nights anymore. In essence, they graduate from church. 

4. Nothing offered -- A good number of churches don't have any programs geared for younger adults. I don't think that starting up a young adult worship service is a good idea (see #3 for why), but I think that if something good was offered for our age group, we would be more likely to come. In the next post we'll talk a little more about what this looks like. 

5. Inauthenticity -- You know that face? The one that Christians put on when they are at church because they are supposed to "love" each other, but deep down they hate the other person's guts? Yeah, we hate that. Authenticity is key to us. If it something reeks of fakeness, then we are going to be gone faster than you can say "Good to see ya at church!" This is why "friendship time" in most churches is counterproductive... I mean, do you really expect us to genuinely fellowship with other Christians if you only give us enough time to shake three hands, then sit down? For heaven's sake! Give us a chance to mingle! Okay, moving on. 

6. We're not buying the gospel you're selling -- Remember that Christ-bridge analogy? On one side there's humanity, then there's a huge chasm, then on the other side there's God. Then miraculously, Christ's cross comes and "bridges the gap" between humanity and God. Now all we have to do is walk across! But wait! There's more! If you cross over today, we'll throw in sanctification at no extra charge! And we'll also throw in not one, but TWO study Bibles and some highlighters! All this can be yours if the Price Is Right!! Ahem.... Sorry about that. For years, the church has been "selling" Christianity like it is a product. STOP IT. Salvation is not a transaction, it is a transformational journey toward Christ-likeness. You can keep your Get-Out-Of-Hell-Free Cards. Give us something that is relevant for the here and now, not just the hereafter. 

Okay, so there are six things to get us started toward thinking about how to "bridge the gap" (If you read #6, you will realize that I just made a joke!) between young adults and the rest of the church. Next time, we'll go over a few things we can actually do to accomplish this. 

Grandpa Brett

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news?slug=ap-grandpafavre

Here's to the NFL's only active playing grandfather!

Meditations Leading Up to Good Friday

I found this really powerful reflection by St. Melito, Bishop of Sardis from 170 AD at a Roman Catholic website called www.crossroadsinitiative.com. You can think what you want about the Catholics, but they've got it right when it comes to valuing powerful, deep liturgy and prayers. 

St. Melito (a Holy Week sermon from the Bishop of Sardis 

given around 170 A.D.) 

  

This is the one who patiently endured many things in many 

people: 

This is the one who was murdered in Abel, and bound as a 

sacrifice in Isaac, 

and exiled in Jacob, and sold in Joseph, 

and exposed in Moses, and sacrificed in the lamb, 

and hunted down in David, and dishonored in the prophets. 

  

This is the one who became human in a virgin, 

who was hanged on the tree, who was buried in the earth, 

who was resurrected from among the dead, 

and who raised mankind up out of the grave below to the heights 

of heaven. 

  

The one who hung the earth in space, is himself hanged; 

the one who fixed the heavens in place, is himself impaled; 

the one who firmly fixed all things, is himself firmly fixed to the tree. 

The Lord is insulted, God has been murdered, 

the King of Israel has been destroyed by the right hand of Israel. 

  

This is the lamb that was slain.  This is the lamb that was silent. 

This is the one who was taken from the flock, and was dragged to sacrifice, 

and was killed in the evening, and was buried at night; 

the one who was not broken while on the tree, 

who did not see dissolution while in the earth. 

who rose up from the dead, and who raised up mankind from the grave below. 

Reverse the Curse?

One of the more popular ideas running its course through our Christian thought today is the concept of "reversing the curse" of Genesis 3. We talk about it like the primary focus of God's plan for the redemption of humanity is to get things back to the way they were before the Fall. While this is true to a certain extent, we can't take this too far.

First of all, when God created man in the garden, we were created perfect, yet corruptible. As Dr. Chris Bounds says, God's plan is not only to ultimately restore humanity to perfection, but to make them perfect and incorruptible. So the curse is reversed... but it goes beyond Eden.

Even with this in mind, I don't think that God's chief plan for humanity is to make things exactly the way they were in the garden of Eden. But if it is God's plan to eventually create a carbon-copy of Eden, here are a few things which will have to be reversed that we don't usually think about:

a) We're all going to walk around naked (Gen. 2:25)

b) Snakes are going to have legs (Gen. 3:14)

c) Man's job is going to be primarily about naming animals (Gen. 2:19)

... and if it is our job to help God bring this plan to pass, then I guess we might want to start considering joining a nudist colony (just kidding).

Switchfoot!

Switchfoot is playing here tonight! Over 500 teenagers are coming in for Fusion youth conference today and hearing the gospel message. Over 200 kids from the Marion community are getting to come for free. Pray that God's will be done through this youth conference.

Oh yeah. And I say we vote Jon Foreman as the next World Changer Inductee, what do you think??

Little Ones

We pass it off like they know nothing,

but really let me tell you something,

these little ones with eyes open wide,

keep big secrets by those who confide.

They understand life in a way we can't

they see things at a different slant.

We wonder why the world is broken,

yet we neglect those who go unspoken.

The future of tomorrow lies

behind those big, bright, innocent eyes,

so you tell me who will hold them,

you tell me who will love them?

Those little ones with broken hearts,

were never meant to be torn apart.

So hold them Jesus, hold them tight,

because I can't reach them day and night...

Show them Jesus, give them sight,

help us, help them, to see the light…

Little Ones hiding in Shadows

The heart of a child is often described as innocent, as blameless, as pure…the truth of the matter is that children are all of these things…yet they are burdened, hurt, and often forgotten. Children of the world see, hear, and experience more than their hearts and minds can understand.

When I was five years old something happened. Something that has shaped me, burdened me, and hurt me. When I was five years old something happened…something that I could not process and years later am dealing with. When I was five years old something happened…

At five years old I lost my father of a sudden heart attack and the shadow of that experience has followed me all of my life. That shadow has made me who I am. The shadow may follow me, but I do not live in the darkness of that shadow…I live in the light.

I have this passion for children...

For some reason or another God has really gifted me for working with children and teens. Ever since I was little I have had an understanding of them...like they just get me and I get them.

So I work with these kids from a pretty rough area...sure they are not always the best behaved...sure they are not always doing what I tell them, but they are amazing.

They smart off, run away, fight, threaten, laugh at inappropriate times, and know way too much for their own good...but there is something more. They see it. They see it all...everyday...all day...

They hold secrets...pains...wounds...fears. They are hungry, tired, and lonely. They pass it off like they are tough, like they are big and bad, but really they are terrified. Really they just do not understand. Really they just need someone...anyone to show them love, anyone to show them how live in the light instead of the darkness of the shadows that never seem to go away.

Children were never meant to be forgotten, but they were meant to be taken care of, protected, and held. It is our job, as the church, to do that…to hold them, love them, and teach them. It is our job to show them what it looks like to live in the light…

Anticipation

The snow is practically gone now in Indiana. 

Sure, it will probably snow again... winter's last gasp... but for the most part, I think the worst has come to an end.

As I breathe in the brisk March air, moistened with the taste of melted snow, certain emotions and memories are triggered... those of anticipation! I think of the excitement I had as a little boy at the idea of being able to play football again outside! I remember the anticipation I had for school to be out for the summer. I remember looking forward to long, warm days hanging out with my friends. 

I guess not that much has changed... I still get excited when spring arrives. Now, however, when the breath of spring floods my lungs, I anticipate different things.

I anticipate graduation...

my first job as a pastor...

getting married someday...

having a family...

But with anticipation comes the fear of disappointment: 

What if I'm delayed in graduating?

What if I'm a failure as a pastor?

...as a husband?

...as a father?

...as a human being?

I worry because I have been let down before...

I know what it feels like when the hopes I had in me die...

and the strongest anticipation always seems to turn into the most heart-wrenching disappointment. 

And when we feel that pain...

we will usually do anything to avoid it again.

No anticipation, no disappointment.

Our anticipations usually let us down because this world is broken. 

But what if there is a day still coming when the brokenness will melt away like snow? What if all this deadness that I feel in my heart could be made alive again? What if a day is coming when we will never be disappointed again? What if there is such a thing as resurrection?

Is that not what we look forward to? The Day of the Lord? Resurrection? Eternal life? Is it safe to say that we have something huge to look forward to? 

Like that first time when you see the grass poking through the snow after a long winter, the empty tomb is a sign of our anticipation of something better: the day when our salvation is made complete. And that is one anticipation that I cannot and will not give up, no matter how much the disappointment may hurt. It is only temporary, after all. The snow may still oppress us now, but these winter days are numbered. Christ is coming back; the kingdom of God is at hand!

So go ahead and get your hopes up, because this is one anticipation that will not end in disappointment. As for today, let the spring air be a reminder that we have something to look forward to.

Perhaps that is why Easter is in the spring. 

Let's be praying for our brothers and sisters in Nigeria after the terrible massacre of over 500 people living in Christian villages. Your kingdom come Lord Jesus.

6 Things to Do if You Want to be Terrible at Grief Counseling

Recently I lost a good friend, a friend that I considered family. She was my grandmother. A couple of weeks ago without notice she passed away from a stroke. I will never feel another hug or hear her whisper in my ear the words that echo even now, “I love ya.” See, grandma Helen was not my first loss. No, she is just one of many and through these losses I have come to realize that though grief has stages and though grief is inevitable, in the midst of it all, all we can see and feel is the pain. Though I would never claim to be an expert, through these experiences I have picked up on a few things that I should never do or say and below Ryan and I came up with a sort of list of “not to do’s.” So without further ado, the ultimate list of 6 things to do if you want to be terrible at grief counseling!!

1. Throw a great “pity party.” – People don’t need your sympathy as much as they need your empathy. Don’t just stop and stare at people when they suffering. Don’t take snapshots of them – this is NOT a Kodak moment. Avoid “pity phrases” such as:

a) You poor thing!

b) Oh, bless your heart.

c) You must feel awful (no duh).

d) I can tell you’ve been crying.

Unless you are willing to empathize with the grieving person and share the weight of their grief, do not attempt to make that person feel better with hollow words.

2. Bring up your vast life experience – Everyone is different. People generally do not ever go through the “exact same experience.” Even if you have gone through something very similar to what another person is going through, do not be so arrogant as to assert your own experience as the answer to all their problems. Experiences can be helpful to gain insight as to how another person is feeling, but don’t abuse these situations by using your own experience as a platform to preach. If you talk about your experience at all, do it in a non-judgmental way (i.e. “I once felt grief when_______ happened. I don’t know how you feel, but I remember how that felt.)

3. Use it as an opportunity to evangelize the unsaved – People don’t want to be converted when they are grieving. They do not need a gospel tract or a trip down the Romans Road. They need an understanding friend. Perhaps through this encounter the person will be more open to talk about spiritual things later on, but as noble as it may seem, this should not be the goal of grief counseling. If they bring up spirituality, by all means talk about it! But if they don’t, restrain from offering an altar call right then and there. The goal is to love that person the way that Jesus loves them, whether they ever “convert” to Christianity or not.

4. Play the Romans 8:28 card – “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” When someone is grieving, that person does not want to hear about how this will turn out for the better. If a kid loses his mom to cancer, I don’t think he is going to want to hear about how it is all going to work out for his good. In his mind, the only good would be if he could get his mom back. While it is true that God can (and does) redeem every situation, he is not the cause of our grief. He hurts when he sees his kids hurting, and sometimes it is our job to hurt along with them without trying to “look at the bright side.”

5. Give an easy answer for all the tough questions – When bad things happen, it is the most natural thing in the world for people to respond by asking, “Why?” Part of the grief process is to question things, doubt your doubts, and arrive at a deeper understanding through a long process of wandering through the thick of life’s hardest questions. There is no “quick fix” answer to some of these questions, and like a moth emerging from its cocoon, it is of utmost importance to let the process run its course. On top of this, when most people ask questions they do not want the answers. They are mostly rhetorical, and no answer (even the most theologically informed one) will satisfy their “Why?”

6. Only Care for a Week – Grief lasts longer than a week. When most people hear that someone has died or something terrible has happened, they come in throngs to the people who are hurting with food and condolences and things of that nature. However, after a week or so, the urgency starts to fade and people who were saying, “I’m here for you” begin to drop off the face of the earth.

The most precious thing that we can give others is ourselves. Even amidst all the hurt, tears, questions, and stages of grief, we can provide the friendship and presence necessary for healing to occur. They don’t need answers or a barrage of words and answers. Our mere presence speaks louder than our condolences ever could. The best thing to do when grief strikes is to say, “No, I don’t understand what you are going through, and I don’t know why it happened or why God let it happen. But know this: I am here for you now. You do not have to carry that grief all by yourself. You are NOT alone.”

After grandma Helen’s funeral we went to the gravesite and after the pastor gave a few words we were “dismissed.” I then walked over to hug the family and say my “goodbyes,” but before I left I paused. I paused by the casket for a final glance and there I found my greatest comfort. My former pastor, Al, put his arm around me and just stood there. He said, “this is hard isn’t it?” and I said with angry tears that, "I am just sick of losing people." He then told me words that I will never forget, He said, “love is a risk, and you sure loved a lot.” These words may seem minor, but to me they meant the world. He, without trying to fix me, understood me.

Heal me (a poem about grief)

God will heal the broken hearted ...will mend the wounded spirit,
but for now my heart lays in pieces bleeding on the floor.

Death captures us in a swift small moment,
it takes away the ones we love;
the hope lays in the forever heaven,
but leaves us alone as we look above,

We cherish all those beautiful memories
as tears roll burning down our face.

We look for answers to the questions
which so deeply trouble our souls.

I ask the questions, and feel the anger.
I search, and I wonder why.

I try to trust and try to heal, but my heart is no longer one...

So heal me Father make me whole,
heal my broken heart.

See me Father, see me crying, hold me close, and keep me warm.

I love You Father even in my despair make me better than before.

HAPPY MEALS

I don't know about you guys, but when I was a little kid, there was one thing that ALWAYS got me excited: Happy Meals. Now admittedly, they're not very healthy to eat all the time, but I had one every once in a while as a growing kid, and it seemed like the best thing in the world.
But I'm going to let you in on a little secret: I never wanted the Happy Meal for the food, or the little cardboard box, or Ronald McDonald's ugly face on my cup. Oh, no. I wanted the Happy meal for one reason, and one reason only: the toy.

If you're around my age, you know what I'm talking about. As soon as you walked through the door, you booked it over to that little plastic toy display where Ronald McDonald was showing off all of his cool new stuff. It never seemed fair that Ronald should have all of those toys to himself behind his plastic toy case; he never played with them, he just stood there like an idiot, smiling at how many toys he had. And no matter what toys they were, you wanted them. They could be GI Joe or Power Rangers or little McDonald's characters, it didn't matter -- you had to have them all.

So mom and dad would order you your Happy Meal, then you'd scarf down your chicken nuggets or cheeseburger or fries or whatever, so that you could receive your reward for eating all of your food. I remember one time, I actually dropped my fries on the floor on purpose, trying to make it look like an accident, so that I could get to the toy faster.

Finally! You finished all your food in 8.2 seconds, but it seemed like an eternity because all you wanted was to get your greasy fingers on that piece of plastic. So you rip open that plastic wrapper (I always had to use my teeth) and pulled out a brand new toy, and for a moment, you are the happiest kid in the entire world...

but then... something funny happens. That GI Joe guy no longer seems like the Holy Grail of playthings that you thought he was while he was in the display case. He doesn't really do anything, or he can't move his arms, or something like that, but inevitably GI Joe, failed to live up to your expectations in one way or another.

I think that this is how we treat life a lot of times. We spend our entire lives trying to achieve a dream or career goal, and then when we get it, it fails to live up to our expectations. We think that a raise, or a new car, or a new job, or a new school will make us happy, but when we get to the bottom of it, it's just a piece of hollow plastic, and we wonder where all the time has gone. Just as the kid hardly tastes his food when he wants the toy, we rush through life so fast that we hardly enjoy it at all, and sometimes, we deliberately waste it to get to some point in the future (take the phrase “kill time” for example).

I think that this is what Solomon is talking about when he says in Ecclesiastes 2:11, "Then I looked at all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended doing it, and behold, all was meaningless, a chasing after the wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun."

Solomon, the wisest person who ever lived, learned the hard way that our dreams and aspirations, while they are good and important things, will leave us empty in the end. The only thing that will fulfill us is a deep, meaningful relationship with Jesus Christ. I don’t mean to sound preachy, but I have learned this lesson the hard way. I wish I could have all that wasted time back, but it serves as a lesson and a constant reminder that nothing will fulfill me except a deep, vibrant relationship with God.

CHALLENGE:
1. Slow down. Stop while you're walking to class or going to work or whatever and find something beautiful around you, praising God for his creativity.
2. Simplify. Have the wisdom and the courage to say "no" to people sometimes. Free yourself from your addiction to the praise of others by spending time in prayer, even in the midst of a crazy schedule.

Ink and Earthquakes

A few weeks ago I was web-surfing when I came across a couple of top stories on Yahoo! The headline of the first one read:

"The Scope of the Haitian Catastrophe Widens Dramatically - Original Estimate of Death Toll Doubles."

There were a few pictures underneath the headline of to go along with the story. One in particular stuck out to me: it was a picture of a crying Haitian woman with a look of pure anguish exuding out of her. I could feel my spirit getting heavier the longer I looked at her as I tried to imagine, even for a moment, the pain she must be going through.

Then I looked at the other top story:

"Billy Ray Cyrus Gets a New Tattoo."

You're joking, right?

Don't get me wrong. It's not that I don't care about the new ink on the arm of Hannah Montana's daddy (well actually, I don't care, but that's beside the point), it's that the tattoo got as much attention, at least from the layout of the page, as a natural disaster that killed 300,000 people.

There's something wrong with that picture.

I think that examples like this are indicative of a huge problem in our culture today. We are constantly being exposed (via internet, TV, newspapers, etc.) to more information than we know what to do with, whether that information is significant or not. As a result, all of that information seems equally important: Billy Ray Cyrus shares a stage with the earthquake in Haiti; the President's State of the Union Address competes for viewers with the TV-show Lost; news from the war is equal with news from the NFL.

And here's the kicker: when everything is important, nothing is.

I think that our primary problem is not with insufficient information, but with too much insignificant information.

That's how Yahoo! can get away with juxtaposing "Death Toll Doubles" with "Billy Ray's new tat."

Either that, or it must be a really nice tattoo.